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I went on a week-long solidarity mission this summer to Israel with Hasbara Fellowships, an organization whose goal is to empower pro-Israel college students to be leaders on campus. I had been to Israel four times before, but always during times of happiness and relative peace.

Before I departed on my trip, nearly a year removed from the horrors of the Oct. 7, 2023, attacks by Hamas in 2023, I spoke to a few friends of mine who visited the country since that fateful time. They all shared the same notion, explaining to me a sense of sadness they felt in a historically happy country.

Once there, I felt that sorrow undermining the feelings of the trip. As a young 18-year-old college student, I faced so much beyond typical sadness.

I felt a gaping inner absence as if time had stopped since Oct. 7. My mother was hesitant to even let me go on the trip, worried that something would happen or I wouldn’t return.

I felt a strong responsibility to see Israel myself post-tragedy, so I stayed true to my identity as a Jewish person and continued with the fellowship. Nothing should take away my right to visit the homeland.

We learned the sad realities that Israelis must endure on a regular basis, like seeking shelter whenever they hear booms or sirens. Our tour guide made sure we knew what to do should we need to immediately seek shelter.

We went to Kibbutz Nir Oz near the Gaza border, and from the front porch of the home of the Bibas family, well-known as among those taken hostage, we saw the front yard full of toys that now lay dirty and unused.

We also visited the home of Mor Bayder’s grandmother. Bayder learned about her grandmother’s murder through a Facebook post from Hamas on her own account. As we walked through the rest of the kibbutz, we saw burned homes and never-ending reminders of terror.

At the Nova Music Festival site, I walked around and saw faces, propped up on wooden poles, of people close to my age who had just wanted to dance. It reminded me of when I attended the Governors Ball Music Festival in New York City.

These people were like me — it could very well have been me if the Governors Ball, an outdoor music festival, had been attacked by terrorists. Moving through the Nova site, I read testimonials from the parents that explained what their children were like and how they were killed. Each testimony ended with words expressing eternal love and the blessings of the victims’ memories.

The idea of this happening to my future children and the thought of how much pain I would go through broke me. Directly after witnessing the wake of these crimes against humanity, I had the luxury of enjoying a traditional Israeli lunch at a restaurant, sitting with the rest of the group. I felt guilty.

I was able to continue on with life while those held hostage and those killed could not. I buried those feelings, not even sharing my thoughts with my family when I returned home. It was difficult for my mind to process everything. The fact that people were killed simply on the grounds of being Jewish is a heartbreakingly difficult concept to grapple with. It is unbelievable that history was repeated.

The following day, my group and I visited Tel Aviv University. Staying in the South and then going to Tel Aviv was like being in two different countries. In southern Israel, the shared mindset is one of abandonment — no one came to help them.

In Tel Aviv, most residents share a mindset that life must continue. We spoke to Danny Danon, the UN Ambassador for Israel, and he explained to us how much power we have as American Jewish individuals to make a difference and that we must never stop advocating for Israel. This trip deepened my love for my people’s country. I’m older than I was when I visited years ago, but my fellowship experience in Israel after Oct. 7 strengthened my connection to the nation.

My family grew up in the Soviet Union, where they were forced to discreetly partake in Jewish customs. My ability to visit Israel and see all the history it holds — unlike the ones who came before me — is undeniably powerful.

Due to current negotiations, Hamas is releasing hostages from captivity in Gaza. In exchange, Israel is releasing its Palestinian prisoners. Many Israeli hostages remain in captivity with the possibility that some hostages have been killed. The Israel-Hamas war has tragically claimed thousands of Palestinian and Israeli lives since Oct. 7. I hope for a peaceful solution and an end to terrorism.

It’s a blessing that we have one Jewish state in the whole world where we maintain the right to be ourselves without oppression. All cultures and religions deserve this right. I want the world to understand it’s not just me who wants terrorism to end and for people to live freely and peacefully in the countries they call home. I encourage people to go to Israel and see the truth for themselves. Israel is a beautiful place I call home.

We are waiting not only to see our Israeli brothers and sisters alive but also to welcome home the bodies of those who were murdered while being held hostage so those families may gain closure and give their loved ones a proper burial.

I am sad to say the hostages mentioned in this article have yet to be released, other than Yarden Bibas, who returned to Israel on Feb. 1. The New York Post reported Tuesday that his wife, Shiri Bibas, and her two children, Ariel and Kfir, were killed in captivity. The Israeli and Jewish community all over the world prays for a safe and quick return of remaining hostages.

Even I, as a young Jewish American college student, can speak for the community when I say we miss and love you, and we hope to see you soon. The strength of the Jewish people during this time couldn’t be clearer to me.

At the very end of my trip, the group leaders asked me and the rest of the group our reasons for making the trip to Israel. My answer remains that the advocacy I do is for my future children and your future children. It is my mission to convey the ideas of pride for Israel to our future generations. Please stand up for us when you are given the opportunity. The future of Israel and the Jewish people is up to you.

Julia Weinreich is a sophomore design studies major. She can be reached at jcweinre@syr.edu.

Published on February 18, 2025 at 7:47 pm