Get the latest Syracuse news delivered right to your inbox.
Subscribe to our newsletter here.

As a Syracuse local, I’ve frequented the Great New York State Fair nearly every year of my life. My mom has actually told me I popped out of the womb and demanded fried Oreos on the spot. Or maybe I dreamed that, considering newborn babies can’t talk and also wouldn’t know what fried Oreos are.

I have a lot of wonderful memories from the Fair. As a six-year-old, I beamed while my face was painted like a unicorn by a grouchy teenager with a thin, dirty paintbrush. At 11, I got scammed by a carnival worker after I spent all $30 of my birthday money on a balloon dart game. At 19, I threw up a Gianelli sausage after riding The Claw.

On second thought, maybe I should’ve chosen memories that were a bit more positive. But hey, I’m no spokesperson.

I went to the Fair on Monday and, I have to say, I had a lot of fun. No scams or sausage vomit. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t a million things they can improve.

For one, the butter sculpture has been very lackluster over the past couple of years. Sure, butter art was exciting in what? 1960? Personally, I think the gimmick is getting old. The best thing about the butter sculpture this year is that they put food coloring in the river part of the sculpture to make it blue. That sounds like a craft I would’ve done when I was nine.

Do you want to impress me, New York State Fair? Make a mayonnaise sculpture. Yeah. You heard me. Do it. Not laughing now, are we? Sure, anyone can freeze or melt butter to a moldable texture and carve a family’s face into it, but I haven’t heard about too many New York State mayonnaise sculptures. You can’t really house it in the dairy building since mayonnaise doesn’t technically contain milk, but there are a lot of places for it! Maybe in between the dinosaurs at the Exposition Center? It doesn’t have to be front and center, just there. Or maybe in the building with the chickens since mayonnaise is made of eggs!

I also passed a petting zoo during my time at the Fair. Pretty typical animals: goats, sheep, all of those guys. However, if I’m paying an entire $8 for a ticket to the “Great” New York State Fair, I wanna see a tiger. No, I wanna pet a tiger. You know, people are probably scared of tigers because they’ve never been in petting zoos. But who knows? Maybe if we domesticated them, they could become the next housecat! Having an organization of tiger breeders would definitely take care of the extinction problem. Fair organizers, please take note. I. Want. Tigers. The people want tigers.

I also noticed that there were a lot of cash-only dining options at the Fair. Like, exclusively cash-only dining options. Okay, what era are we in? The 1900s? Do you think I’m just carrying around a heap of dollar bills in the pocket of my petticoat? Instead, I think we should bring back bartering. I’ll give you my left sneaker in exchange for an overpriced cheeseburger or perhaps an “I Heart New York” t-shirt!

Despite my qualms, I quite enjoy the Fair. I think with these improvements, it could be even cooler. As long as we have an emergency tiger tamer.

Published on August 28, 2024 at 10:41 pm

Contact Sarah: sswells@syr.edu